


What's so great about butts?

by Spotted_Newt



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Asexual Bant Eerin, Asexual Character, Asexual Obi-Wan Kenobi, the struggle is real
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:21:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26807278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spotted_Newt/pseuds/Spotted_Newt
Summary: A series of short, lighthearted oneshots in which aces are thoroughly baffled by and done with the world.Mostly inspired by things I find on pinterest, and my own experiences. Feel free to suggest prompts!
Comments: 24
Kudos: 38





	1. What's so great about butts?

“Look at that ass,” Siri said with a sigh, “It’s perfect.”

Obi-Wan frowned. “I really don’t see what’s so great about butts.”

“Come on Obes, they’re,” Quinlan made scoops with his hands and drew them through the air as if outlining curves, “ _ sexy _ .”

The group, which also consisted of Bant Eerin and Garen Muln, was piled onto a couch in Quin’s apartment. He had recently been knighted, and they were taking advantage of his having his own quarters. They were watching a holo-drama that Obi-Wan found more entertaining than his pride allowed him to admit. The theatrics were excellent, even if the acting was sub-par. But the rest of the group seemed more interested in ogling the actors. 

“Why?” Obi-Wan asked. “You sit on butts. You fart with butts. What exactly is so attractive about butts?”

Siri wrinkled her nose. “You don’t think about those things. They’re aesthetically pleasing. And they’re squeezable.”

“Literally any part of a body is squeezable.”

“Yeah, but not like a nice booty.”

“But think of where that ‘booty’ has been!” Obi-Wan argued, “You want to touch something that has sat on a dirty booth in Dex’s?”

“It’s not like you sit naked at Dex’s. Unless there’s something you need to tell us, Obes?” Quin waggled an eyebrow. “Are you stripping in public places?”

Obi-Wan gagged. “Ew. No.”

“Forget it Obi,” Bant said, “Admiring butts is just one of those weird allo things we’ll never understand.”

He snorted. “I guess so.”

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of the things I am continually baffled by is WHY everyone seems to think butts are attractive. That seems to be a common ace mood. Sorry if the arguments for butt attractiveness seem off, I tried my best considering I Don't Get It.


	2. Aesthetics

Dex’s diner was, as usual, bustling with an evening crowd when the gaggle of senior Padawans walked in. 

“Hey Dex!” Obi-Wan called as they made their way to an open booth. 

“Obi!” The Besalisk waved a spatula in greeting. “The usuals for you scoundrels?”

“You got it! Thanks Dex.” 

Obi-Wan slid into the booth, scooting up against the window so Bant could sit next to him. Garen and Quinlan sat across from them, and Siri snagged an extra chair for the end. A robotic waitress rolled over to take their drink orders and zipped away just as fast to fill them. Their food came suspiciously quickly considering how busy the diner was, and when Obi-Wan caught Dex’s eye the Besalisk winked. The cook was quite fond of the padawans, which meant their food never sat under a heat lamp. Obi-Wan beamed at him in thanks.

At some point during the meal Obi-Wan drifted out of the conversation, instead looking out the window. He liked to watch the people bustling to and fro, going about their lives in the city. Sometimes the crowds could be overwhelming, but here surrounded by his friends and greasy food he felt calm and content.

Someone stopped just before the diner, fiddling with a comm on their wrist. Obi-Wan admired the shape of their forehead, the slope of their nose. He noticed that it turned up just a little at the end. A lock of hair fell in front of their face as the pressed buttons on the comm, and they gave their head a quick shake to get it out of the way. They had nice shoulders too, solid but not quite broad, and Obi-Wan tilted his head as he traced the line of shoulder to elbow to wrist, following the curve of their muscles. 

“See something you like, Obes?”

Obi-Wan startled out of his thoughts. Quinlan was smirking at him and wiggling his eyebrows. 

“I haven’t seen you stare at a person like that before. Should I hurry out there and get their number for you?”

“Erm, no,” Obi-Wan coughed, and he realized Garen and Siri were giving him equally ‘knowing’ looks. “I was just admiring them.”

“Oooooo. Do you wanna have some _fun_ with them?”

Obi-Wan’s ears turned red, but he released an exasperated sigh. “Admiration is not the same thing as desire. I admire people in exactly the same way I would admire a nice painting. If you’re really that curious, I’ve been learning how to sketch people and I was mentally superimposing reference lines to figure out where their features would be in comparison to the rough guides, so that I can learn how to draw someone with that particular figure and features.”

Quinlan groaned. “Ugh, here I thought you were actually interested in someone and you’re just being nerdy, as usual.”

“And you’re just being a weirdo, as usual, and completely misreading a situation.”

“Hey!”

Obi-Wan smirked, picking up a fry from his plate and dipping it in ketchup. 

“If you’re learning how to draw people, why not just draw us?” Garen asked curiously.

“He’s sketched me,” Bant said with an air of smugness. 

“And you didn’t ask the handsomest person here to model for you?” Quinlan said, dramatically flipping his dreads.

“Vos, you are exactly the last person I would ever ask to model for me. I’d look up and you’d have taken your clothes off.”

Siri choked on her soda. Quinlan glared at her as she laughed and grabbed one of Garen’s napkins to wipe her chin. “You would. And then you’d tell the whole Temple that Obi-Wan was sketching _things_.”

“And the reactions would be hilarious,” Quinlan said, not even denying it. 

“Which is precisely why Bant is the only one I’ve drawn. She is the only one of you idiots that a) can actually sit still long enough for me to draw and b) won’t do something weird.”

“Awww come on Obes, do you really have so little faith in our maturity?”

Obi-Wan snorted. “Yes.”

Garen chucked a fry at him, and he ducked to avoid it. The greasy strip hit the Trandoshan at the next booth, who whirled to glare at the teen. “You wanna take this outside, brat?”

Obi-Wan pressed his fist to his mouth to keep from bursting into laughter at his friend’s terrified expression. 

Idiots, the lot of them, but he loved them anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aesthetic attraction is not the same thing as sexual attraction! And sometimes you just admire someone because people are Lovely without feeling any attraction at all.


End file.
